Archive for February, 2007

I have been reborn

Posted in Uncategorized on February 26, 2007 by Frizz

I haven’t been reborn in the spiritual place. However, I’ve been reborn within the internet computer world place. I bought my computer at Circuit City in San Francisco about a year and a half ago. Since then I’ve been using Comcast “High Speed” internet connection. Well, I really never thought it was high speed at all. Of course it was faster than dial-up but I always had problems with it. Nevertheless I continued to use it. Here’s my point…when i bought the computer I had them install Norton Anti-virus. I have been using this fucking Norton crap for over a year. I recently bought a webcam. A really expensive one. I was talking with my friend Buddy tonight on the webcam and he told me when I talked, it looked like an old time Karate movie. I was pissed. But, then he said it’s probably not the webcam, but your computer. I let him know that my computer is not that old and told him that I had Norton installed and maybe that could be the problem? SOOOOO after a year and a half Norton is the shit that is slowing me down. I mean really…the computer is not that old. Virus protection is very important. So, I called Comcast and asked them about it. I talked to Brad (no this isn’t going to turn into a porn story. His name really was Brad) and he informed me that Comcast Internet already comes with Internet virus protection. I said, “Would you recommend that I remove Norton from my computer.” He said, “Yeah I would recommend that.” I did. I removed it. I was a little afraid because change is hard for me.

Guess what????? My computer is now running like Superman after taking a few hits from the Meth pipe. When I watch my egotistcal self on webcam the words now actually meet up with what I’m saying.

There is no point to this blog other than the fact that I’m happier than a puppy with two peters. (yep, cheap City Slickers line) But, none the less very cool. There are no boundries that I now cannot reach.

PEACE

Pointless rambling and promotion

Posted in Uncategorized on February 25, 2007 by Frizz

Almost two months down in the year of 07 already. Time does move quickly. As the song lyric goes “it’s been a long cold lonely winter.” It hasn’t been that lonely. But, it has been cold on the East Coast the past couple months. I’m looking forward to Spring. This is my first winter back living on the East Coast after over 10 years. So, even 40 degrees is a bit cold to me.

Some cool things are going on. I’m having fun writing this blog. I’d like to write more. But, I don’t always get to it. However, a couple new projects are in works. In the very near future I will start doing some video blogs on youtube. The URL for that is http://www.youtube.com/heyfrizz. I haven’t decided what these videos will consist of as of yet. I’m not sure when I will post the first one. The idea of being on camera and posting videos doesn’t make me that comfortable at the moment. But, I have been watching other people’s videos on youtube and having a great time doing so. So I figure, what the heck. If you want to have an entertaining evening sometime check out my friend Mercy Fuque’s videos from Trannyshack in SF. They are worth the watch. http://www.youtube.com/MercyF

The other project in the works is an online radio show that will broadcast on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/. This will hopefully be up and running in the next couple weeks. It will be an hour long once a week radio show hosted by myself and my friend Buddy from San Francisco. The full format as well as the day and hour is still being worked out. I will post that information here once more of the details are solid.

The last thing I want to put out, and this is if you are interested in Astrology at all is to check http://www.theastrologer.com. The site is run by KT, The Astrologer (http://theastrologer.com/blog/about-kt/). It’s a great site and provides very decent information.

Oh yeah and for all the latest news on Anna Nicole and Britney check CNN, FOX NEWS, and MSNBC. All Britney, all Anna ALL the time. Because, ya know? Nothing else important is going on in the world.

Hope all are doing well.

PEACE NOW!

Ghosts from the past

Posted in Uncategorized on February 17, 2007 by Frizz

I was chatting with a good friend of mine this evening who has been a part of my life for over 20 years. As usual we cover a lot of ground in our conversations. But, tonight we touched on many of the people who have crossed over and have made impressions on our lives. This won’t be a long blog but it will touch on the people who have made the greatest mark on me. These individuals have been a part of making me who I am today. I carry them around with me in every single move I make.

Grandma Esther

Grandma Dorothy

Poppie Albert

Poppop Ernie

Eddie Sweet

Flo Sweet

Uncle Richie

Sam Hurley

Carol Dull

Pastor Jones

Jake Buckwalter

Ohma

Nanook and Pepi

Clara Jensen

Thanks MadV

Posted in Uncategorized on February 13, 2007 by Frizz

Control. Now I’m all grown up

Posted in Uncategorized on February 1, 2007 by Frizz

I have in my life been embarassed of many things. I’m a little bit more than embarassed to post a blog about somethings I have been discovering as of late. I’m talking about fear. Fear is one of the most disabling things that one can experience. In the last month or so I have been going through a process of learning and accepting what fear means and how much it’s not part of the “growing” experience of my life. I’m 36 years old and it has taken me a long time to finally look at this. Which is the embarassing part because it took this long.

I was raised in a born again christian family. It was never bad. In fact as far as the family goes it was a really good experience and I am happy that I was part of it. On the other hand it was the other people I came in contact with because of being raised in that type of environment that put the “fear of god” in my life.

When I was a teenager I was active in my church. I would go to Youth Group, had friends, and felt pretty good about being in a social situation with people who thought the same as I did. Maybe not so much as being like minded with people but being in a group situation where we could hang out and play floor hockey or whatever. But, while being involved with this group of people I had older people in my life who were called “Youth Leaders.”

These youth leaders where my inspiration at one time. They were actually (and I am sure still are in their own way) very decent people. However, the fear that was put into me as a teenager was pretty overwhelming. Around 13 years old we went through the whole phase of playing music backwards. If you’re old enough you may remember that. You would take a record and spin it backwards, especially if it was Led Zepplin and it would say, “I worship Satan, I live for Satan etc…..” That shit freaked me out. I would lose my fucking shit when I would hear that stuff. Never realizing that NO ONE listens to this shit backwards in “real” life. It doesn’t say that crap at all. Someone told me it said that and I believed it and there you go. Led Zepplin=Satan.

In youth group we would then move on to people who worship the devil. Those evil crazies who dyed their hair black, wore black eyeliner, black clothes and read Anton Levey’s Satanic bible. They were EVIL. Or, so I was told. Those people freaked me out. I mean freaked me out. They scared the shit out of me. I would watch them on Jerry Springer or Geraldo and have nightmares for 5 nights following. Not to mention the heathens who smoked pot or drank a beer or went to school dances. Satan was everywhere and I was sure he was gonna get me someday.

At that time I would get on my knees and pray to god that I would be “delivered” from this. I would literally shake in fear because I was so scared of what these people might do to me. My youth leaders would tell me I had nothing to be afraid of because I had the power of Christ in me. With the power of Christ nothing could touch me. Yeah sure, tell that to Jason or Freddy Krueger or Ozzy.

I didn’t just live in fear day to day. I lived in fear every single minute of my life. I would pray and make deals with god. God became my mafia boss and I was the dude who owed him money. What they failed to tell me is that people who think differently or have a different belief system are still people. They are people like myself. They are most likely also afraid. Even if they are not afraid they still have the desire to eat and sleep and take a nice long shit while reading a magazine. What I was neglected to be told was that we are all human and trying to get along the best way we all possibly can. Wouldn’t it have just been easier to say that? My assumption is because of control that would be too easy. It’s easier to scare the fuck out of someone into heaven then have them truly love god into heaven. blah blah blah.

Around the age of 18 I started to have different feelings about myself. They were feelings I couldn’t control even though I would try very hard to control them. I started thinking about guys in more than just a friendship kind of way. I actually had these feelings before the age of 18 but I pushed them so far back into my head that they didn’t affect me until then. However, once they came to the forefront they came like a tidal wave and I began to drowned in them. Once again, tremendous fear. Now it wasn’t playing records backwards, it was something even more real than that.

I was able to control that for about 2 years. But that shit just doesn’t go away. All of this bullshit spilled over and trickled down into my adult life. In my early twenties I got over the satanic bullshit. I got over the homo being against god bullshit. But, the lingering of control and being in fear stayed with me. I spent time in relationships where if I didn’t have control I would FEAR losing the person I was in love or in a friendship with. Never understanding that the fear is the thing that was destroying the entire thing. I finally realized what so many people before me have realized, which is control is fear. I don’t believe that ego is control even if it may be part of it. But, fear is the ultimate control.

I don’t fear satanists, or christians, or muslims, or terrorists, or rednecks, or gangmembers, or backwards record playin’ (the list goes on) anymore. Because, I’ve finally at the age of 36 come to realize that all that bullshit is about control. I don’t have anymore room in my life for such nonsense.